So as it stands right now, it’s looking very likely (99.96%) that I’ll be a trucker, and start driver training inside of a week. I also intend to go full-time living as a woman at the start of April, which, as I’m typing this, is 45 minutes away. This means that, as I train to be a truck driver, I’ll be a woman who looks like a man. But this is my life and this is how I want to live. I won’t allow anyone or anything to take this away from me.
I hope. I’ve been known to chicken out of stuff in the past, but nothing has ever meant as much to me as being a woman does. I’ve gone at what seems to me a frenetic pace compared to others, and I think the driving force (no pun intended) behind that is the feeling of time slipping away. I only have so many years in which I can live as the correct gender, and at the age of 36, those years are a lot fewer than most women.
I am extremely grateful for the wonderful friends I’ve made online and in person throughout the years, most of whom are accepting of this new aspect of my life, and many who are outright supportive, expending their own money, and in some cases considerable time as well, on my behalf to give me the things I need to feel feminine. I don’t know if I can ever repay their kindness, but I can try.
So I’ve been seeing a gender therapist for a few weeks now. I won’t go into many details, but she’s said that for Hormone Replacement Therapy, the only endocrinologist she trusts is in Atlanta, GA. Which is a 4-hour drive. Which makes an appointment an all-day thing, if not a two-day trip (leave out, appointment, spend the night in Atlanta, drive back the next morning).
She has tried other doctors. Her other patients have reported that the doctors have either turned them away and refused to make an appointment, have made and appointment but then refused treatment or refused to even call them back to be seen, or have made the appointment and treated the patient like total crap. We don’t need that, we get enough crap as it is.
Money’s a huge issue for me. I work retail for below a livable wage. I’m being forced to “sink or swim” for reasons unrelated to being transgender, that is, I’m being forced to move out of my Dad and stepmother’s house where I’ve been living for almost three years. I’m trying crowdfunding through PayPal and through GoFundMe.com but it’s too soon to tell if anything will come of that. I’ll post the links in another blog entry if you’re interested in donating.
I’m trying to find a second job, or a replacement job that’ll allow me to make ends meet. It’s hard to find one, though. I’ve already applied and been auto-rejected at so many places without ever speaking to anyone in person.